Breakthrough Read online

  “I think what you do here’s incredible. Were you born in Alaska or did you move here?” I asked.

  “My father was in the military and we were stationed in Fairbanks for all of my high school years. When he got transferred, I stayed. I always knew I was going to work with animals. I just didn’t expect they would be the kind that weighed more than me.” Tina put her finger to her lips and signaled to me to be quiet. We tiptoed into a room where there were two tiny, sleepy bobcats. She slipped on gloves and signaled that I should do the same.

  I put my camera and notepad on the counter so I could put on the gloves. I had no idea why, but my heart was racing. I figured she was only going to let me touch one, but when she handed me a kitten, I almost died. I carefully held the tiny animal close to my chest. The baby was so sleepy that she opened her tiny blue eyes for just a second, saw me, and curled up back into my hand and drifted back to sleep.

  “We need to feed them. Do you want to help?” she asked.

  I nodded. She handed me the second kitten who was a little bit more awake, while she fixed two bottles. I stood there as awkward as could be, and held these tiny bundles of wilderness. “What happened to them? Why are they here?” My whisper was horribly loud. It was too hard to contain my excitement. “They seem fine.”

  “They are. One of the rangers found them after their mother died,” Tina said. She didn’t elaborate on the mother’s death, and I didn’t ask. It made me sad.

  “And they are too young to make it out on their own. Will they be released ever?” I asked.

  “It depends, but they will probably stay at the sanctuary. When animals this young come to us, the chances of them surviving out in the wilderness are slim.”

  I frowned and held their sleeping faces in front of mine. “They are so cute. And they look like normal kittens except for their goatees.”

  Tina handed me a tiny bottle and took one of the kittens back. When the kitten latched on to the nipple, his little ears started moving back and forth as he greedily drank from it. I couldn’t wait to feed mine. I rubbed the bottle’s soft nipple on her mouth until she latched on. She made tiny squeals and reached her paws out to capture my hands to ensure I wasn’t going to leave.

  “How often do you have to feed them?” I asked.

  “Every three hours. This is the second time since I’ve been here.” After about ten minutes, both kittens passed out with milk mustaches and full bellies. Tina snapped a few pictures of me feeding the kitten after she put hers back in the pen. I couldn’t wait to see the photos.

  “Are you ready for lunch?” Brynn walked in and quieted after I shushed her.

  “Don’t wake the babies. We just got them to sleep,” I said.

  She smiled at me and nodded. “Are you hungry?” she whispered. I nodded. “Want to grab a late lunch?”

  I regretfully handed the kitten back to Tina. “Thank you so much for letting me spend my morning here.”

  “Anytime, Kennedy. It’s nice to talk about our little place with somebody who can make a difference.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Brynn and I decided on Lucille’s for lunch. It was my favorite spot in town. We ran into Mandy while eating meatloaf specials.

  “Would you and Lisa like to come over to the cabin for dinner tonight?” Brynn asked.

  “That sounds great. I’m tired of cooking,” Mandy said.

  We decided on six. Brynn and I were responsible for the sides, they would bring the fish. I smiled because it felt like Brynn and I were a couple. At least at this moment.

  “You know, if I keep eating like this, I’m not going to fit in my clothes.” I shoveled another forkful of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

  “You’re perfect. Don’t even worry about it,” Brynn said.

  I smiled as I recalled the last twelve hours of my life. I finally had sex with Brynn and it was even better than I imagined. I witnessed a beautiful rescue at the sanctuary, and bottle fed a baby bobcat. And the sexiest woman in the room just told me I was perfect.

  “Thank you. As you can tell, I’m not too worried about my calories today,” I said.

  “You did burn off quite a few of them earlier,” she said. I blushed and looked at my plate. “Thank you for last night. Or this morning, I mean.” I looked at her smiling face. I didn’t see regret or remorse, only happiness. It was different than the sad smile she gave me just this morning.

  “Are you okay with everything? I mean, I know you didn’t…” I trailed off hoping she wouldn’t need any more of an explanation.

  She reached across the table and held my hand. “I’m fine. I promise. It was fantastic.”

  I was still sore from this morning, but I wanted her again. “I know that you had reservations about starting anything with me and I just want you to know that I respect you.” That sounded lame even to me. “What I mean is thank you, too.”

  “Are you ready?” Brynn asked. She paid the bill, and we headed back to the sanctuary. She promised me more time inside the fences which translated to private time where we could kiss and be alone again.

  * * *

  “So tell me something you can’t do.”

  Brynn pulled over to repair a busted fence near the road. The tailgate on the truck was down and served as my seat while I handed her the tools she needed. I didn’t know a crescent wrench from needle nose pliers, so she had to work with me on a different level. “Hand me the rubber grip things that look like a red dolphin” or “grab me the yellow handle cross screw driver.” I was worthless. I knew what a hammer was, but that was the extent of my tool knowledge.

  “Oh, let’s see, I can’t write well. I can’t fit into small spaces. Oh, and I can’t seem to get you off of my mind.” She smiled.

  That made my stomach flutter. “Brynn Coleman. You’re a flirt.”

  She winked at me and continued hammering the spike into the post. The sun was beating down on her and her ranger hat only shielded half her face. I took a picture of her and the vastness of the mountains around us. I could photograph her all day.

  “I’m horrible at flirting,” she said.

  I handed her a drink in exchange for the red dolphin thing. “Shut up.” I stared at her in disbelief.

  She laughed and a little dribble of water escaped her mouth. “What?” she asked innocently.

  “At first I thought you were a bad flirt, but then you turned on your charm and bam, I ended up naked on your couch.” I pulled her close to me and tilted her hat back. Sitting on the tailgate gave me additional height and I was able to look her in the eye.

  “My couch will never be the same,” she said.

  “I will never be the same.”

  She cleared her throat and took a step back. Fuck. I said the wrong thing.

  “Let me gather the rest of the supplies and we’ll get going.” She turned her back to me and checked her work on the post. I sighed and jumped down. Tender moment ruined. Great job, Kennedy.

  Brynn kept the conversation light during our drive to the western side of the refuge. The river that cut in front of the mountain provided water for the animals and we saw our fair share of elk and moose. I had a hard time distinguishing between female elk and female moose and it eventually became a game with us. I blamed our distance and my eyesight. Brynn blamed my lack of interest in animals. It was nice that she was loose around me again. I vowed not to discuss our relationship, however brief it would be, until she wanted to.

  “We should probably get out of here and hit the grocery store so we don’t miss Mandy and Lisa,” Brynn said.

  “I’m excited to see them again. They are both sweet ladies.” I thought about my friends back home and how I really didn’t have any couple friends. My friends were single and only cared about going to bars and hooking up. Dinner at my condo just didn’t happen ever. I was looking forward to spending time with three people I genuinely liked.

  “We have our spurts. Now that it’s spring, we’ll get out more and do fun things like softball and m
ovie nights,” she said. We pulled into the parking lot and I helped Brynn transfer her things back into her truck.

  “Like everybody meet at the theater or the drive-in?” It seemed pretty obvious to me, but it was just a different world here in Alaska.

  “We don’t have drive-in theaters. It doesn’t get dark enough during the summer to show movies outside, and it’s just too cold the rest of the year. Somebody from the softball team will have a movie party at their house. It’s fun.”

  It did sound fun. Simple, but fun. I rarely went to movies, but when I did, it was usually a red carpet event and then I spent more time watching the audience than the movie. I couldn’t recall the last movie I saw for fun. “What’s your favorite movie?”

  “Oh, I couldn’t even narrow it down. I spend a lot of time in front of the television watching cheesy eighties movies, historical pieces, science fiction, and documentaries. I love them all.” She never turned on the television at the cabin. I told myself to be a better guest there and engage her in conversation, since she gave me her undivided attention and I didn’t even know it.

  “What are winters like here? Are they as brutal as I imagine?” I asked.

  “Hold that thought. I’m going to run in, grab Wally, and check out. Do you want to come in or stay in the car?” I checked the time. It was already five and we still had to go shopping.

  “It will be quicker if I stay.” She leaned over and kissed me swiftly before heading inside. I held my fingertips to my lips to keep the kiss just a few seconds longer.

  * * *

  When Brynn kissed me in front of Mandy and Lisa, I nearly swooned. I acted like it was no big thing, but I didn’t miss the look shared between them.

  “How much longer on the fish? Do you need my help?” Lisa asked.

  Brynn snapped her tongs at her. “Grilling’s my thing. You sit next to your wife and look pretty.” When she walked outside to check on the fish, both women looked at me. Mandy had a huge smile on her face, and Lisa looked like she was chomping at the bit to ask questions. Mandy reached over and gently squeezed Lisa’s forearm.

  I held up my hands to them in a surrendering gesture. “What can I say? She’s charming.” I shrugged at them as if it was no big deal, but we all knew it was. I stole a moment to watch Brynn in action. The spring breeze ruffled her hair and turned up the collar of her shirt. I pictured myself standing next to her, brushing it down just to have an excuse to touch her. Her hair was so thick, and dark, and I longed to dig my fingers in it again like I did the night before.

  “She’s like a unicorn,” Lisa whispered. I busted out laughing. Brynn looked in at us.

  I shrugged at her and turned back to the girls. “What exactly do you mean?”

  “We’ve known Brynn a long time and haven’t seen her with anybody really. Well, not cutesy like this. It’s nice to see,” Mandy said.

  I smiled, but it felt bittersweet. “Brynn and I know this isn’t going to be anything other than right here, right now. I’ll probably leave next week. My articles are almost done. I just need to fine tune them and send them in.”

  “What happens to you and Brynn?” Lisa asked.

  Before I had a chance to answer, Brynn walked in with a platter of grilled halibut. “Why do I get the feeling you ladies are talking about me?” She set the fish in the center of the table and we all leaned forward to look at it in appreciation.

  “This smells wonderful, Brynn,” Mandy said. Plates were passed around, sides were dished out, and two minutes later, we were all eating a delicious and healthy meal, my favorite yet.

  “It tastes even better than it smells,” I said.

  “Brynn, I might need your recipe so that I can share this deliciousness with the diner,” Mandy said. She listed off possible ingredients, but Brynn shook her head.

  “No way. What happens if I want to open a diner and nobody comes to my place because they are over at Lucille’s. I got to keep my options open.”

  “You could never quit your job. You love it too much,” Lisa said.

  Brynn nodded. “This is true.” She told Mandy all of the herbs and spices she used.

  Lisa and I shrugged at one another. “Women,” she said.

  “I know nothing about cooking,” I said.

  “What do you eat when you are home?”

  “Usually just salads and simple foods like yogurt and avocados. Nothing that requires heat other than from a microwave,” I said.

  “Seriously? You never got the bug to cook? What about cooking for anyone?” Mandy seemed amazed that somebody could be my age and know zero about cooking. I wasn’t proud that I didn’t know how long to boil an egg for, but I wasn’t embarrassed either. It just wasn’t my thing.

  “I live near a lot of restaurants. It’s handy to run to the corner and pick up something fast and healthy. Truthfully, it’s just hard to cook just for one person.”

  “I like to cook. When you are snowed in, you learn ways to entertain yourself. Cooking was mine,” Brynn said.

  “You’re great at it. Brynn has cooked some pretty amazing things for me over the last few days. This is probably my favorite.” I turned to Mandy and Lisa. “And both of you have strong family backgrounds in food.” Mandy grew up helping her mother at Lucille’s, while Lisa’s family specialized in smoking fish. Even though they didn’t have a restaurant, they sold cookbooks of family recipes gathered throughout the years.

  “My mother’s a horrible cook. I learned my skills from her.” Everybody laughed even though I was serious. “We usually ate one thing only. Like meatloaf. What’s for dinner, mom? A slice of meatloaf. Not nestled on a bed of soft and fluffy mashed potatoes resting near a pile of sweet peas and a dinner roll, but a slice of meatloaf smothered in ketchup.”

  “Seriously? Is that why you’re so thin?” Lisa asked.

  “No. That’s because I work in an industry where you have to be a size two in order to succeed. It’s tough. I’m going to blame Mandy, though, for making me fall off of the wagon. That fish I had at Lucille’s was buttery and so delicious.” I took a break from talking so I could eat. My clothes still fit even though I had forgotten about calories for two weeks so I planned on savoring every bite. I felt Brynn’s hand on my knee and smiled. She wasn’t being secretive or coy, she was being sweet and supportive. It was nice to be on the receiving end of her attention. I felt oddly at peace and excited at the same time.

  “My mother has a way of making you forget about diets and calorie counting,” Mandy said.

  “I’m already in love with her.” I laughed at my own joke. I was completely relaxed around these women. They were down-to-earth. I wasn’t used to genuine people and wondered why. Why did I surround myself with people who gossiped instead of talked? Or ridiculed instead of complimented? How had I never realized I was in unhealthy relationships?

  We took our glasses of wine and relaxed in the living room. I sat next to Brynn, our bodies touching from shoulders to knees, her arm draped on the sofa behind me. Mandy sat on my other side, and Lisa sat in the chair across from the three of us. Wally was in the corner playing with a baby mobile that Brynn raccoon-proofed for him. A lot of our conversation revolved around him. I was amazed at how much Mandy and Lisa knew about raccoons. I would google raccoons as pets later. According to everyone, small animals were not recommended as pets because they were potential prey. Not just of coyotes, wolves, and large cats on the ground, but animals from above. Eagles, hawks, and other large birds were always around watching and waiting. If you had a small animal as a pet and wanted to keep it, you had to be around it when you let it outside for whatever reason. Brynn was worried about Wally, but he didn’t get out much unless he was surrounded by rangers at the sanctuary or Brynn at the cabin. He stayed pretty close to the people he trusted. I realized I was doing the exact same thing.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Brynn put her fingertips on the top of the doorframe and leaned forward as we watched Mandy and Lisa drive away. The gentle sway of he
r lithe body near mine gave me a surge of energy I wasn’t expecting. I was tired and desperately needed sleep, but the need to touch her again outweighed that need.

  “Even though it’s still early and as much as I like them, I thought they would never leave,” Brynn said. Her hand slid to my waist and gently pulled me closer. It was nice to be held.

  “I know. I’m exhausted,” I said.

  She tilted my chin so that she could look into my eyes. “Too tired for me?” There was such vulnerability in her voice. Even the tiny, soft kiss she placed on my lips was cautious. Gone was the confident woman who laughed and joked with us just a few minutes ago.

  “Never too tired for you.” I stood on my toes and kissed her, softly at first, but our passion quickly surfaced and it was just a matter of moments before we both started taking off our clothes. I was anxious to touch her and feel her muscles bunch and quiver under my fingertips. This morning was rushed with desperate need to satisfy our lust for one another. Tonight, I wanted it to be slower and sweeter. Brynn broke our kiss first.

  “We should probably go inside.” She was great about making me forget everything else around me. I stood out on the porch with my shirt unbuttoned and my jeans down past my hips. Brynn was in about the same state. She pushed us back inside the cabin and locked the front door. Wally was in the kitchen eating grapes. We barely acknowledged him on our way to the bedroom. Brynn shut the door and reached for me.

  I stepped out of my jeans and pulled off my shirt before I went into her arms. Tonight we had time. “Even though we had fun with them, I like that it’s just us,” I said.

  She answered me with a kiss that made me so weak I had to sit. Her mouth was incredible. Brynn gave all of herself in each and every kiss. There was a meaning behind each one: I want you, I need you, I trust you. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her close. Her jeans were unbuttoned and hanging low on her sharp hips. I pressed my palms on her smooth stomach and slid them inside of the opening of her jeans to push them down. Her body was so soft that I had to run my fingertips over her skin several times because I couldn’t believe what I felt. She moaned and stepped closer between my legs. I kissed her stomach and finished pushing her jeans down. She smelled warm, and wet, and ready for me. I rubbed my fingers along the seam of her boxers, the one that ran up and down her slit. She pressed into me, gently at first. Her fingers wound in my hair and drew me closer.