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  And there’s the punch to the gut.

  “Avery!” Ali hisses over me at her. She looks guilty but shrugs. “You don’t need to worry about that.” Ali looks angry and I know she’s protecting me, but I guess she has a right to know. I place my hand on Ali’s arm.

  “It’s okay,” I say. I turn my attention back to Avery. “I was in a long relationship, but it didn’t work out. So I went into hiding, licked my wounds, engrossed myself in my writing, and, when I came up for air, Ali was waiting.” I’m sure my explanation is acceptable because Avery smiles at me and I can feel Ali relax. Maybe one day Avery will know the full story.

  “Aunt Beth! Are you going to the fall festival?” Hannah asks. I’m not sure when I changed from Beth to Aunt Beth, but I’m pretty sure I’ll move mountains for this tiny bundle of energy. She’s talking to me like I’ve been around since her birth.

  “Can I come, too?” Ali asks. Hannah giggles.

  “Of course,” she says, matter-of-factly.

  The rest of the night goes smoothly. When Ali isn’t protecting me from Avery’s inquisition, she’s deep in conversation with her father. Ali’s mother draws me into a conversation about my jewelry. She’s been admiring it all night. I explain that my grandmother gave it to me, and I compliment her on her good eye. Most people have no idea that what I’m wearing could probably buy a house. It’s very simple, but it’s from the 1800s and has been in our family since then. Ali wears her great-grandmother’s wedding ring on her ring finger, and it’s from the same era. It’s nice to know we both like the same kind of jewelry. Lucy invites me to stop by her store, and I find that I really want to.

  “Do you know that you’re the only woman, besides Gennifer, that Ali has introduced to the family?” Avery asks me, her voice low. I look at her with surprise.

  “Wow. No, I didn’t.” I’m not quite sure what to say to that or how to act. Avery’s definitely looking for a reaction, and I’m trying not to smile too broadly. The news really does surprise me. I’ll have to ask Ali about that later.

  “Yeah, that’s why there’s such a turnout tonight. I mean, we wanted to meet you because we know this doesn’t happen often and Ali is definitely happy.” She stumbles over the word happy and I wonder why.

  “That’s nice,” I say. I can see she’s somewhat disappointed. I think she wants more of a confession or declaration on my part.

  We eventually move back to the living room as some of the family shuffles around to leave. Both Ali and I thank everybody, and I’m kissed and hugged again and again. I’m eating it up. I’m not used to a lot of attention, and who knew I’d like it so much? Hannah has the hardest time saying good-bye. Her little face is red from crying, and Ali promises we’ll see her tomorrow at the festival. That perks her up, and she hugs us both good-bye before she sleepily heads to the car. I selfishly want her. She’s adorable, potty-trained, and can talk. All the hard stuff is done until the teenage years. Then, I’ll gladly give her back until college.

  At ten thirty Ali points to the clock. I can’t believe we’ve been here so long. I’m nestled into Ali’s side. We’re sharing the couch with Avery, who’s draped her legs across us. She’s as comfortable with us as Hannah is. I’m already in love with Ali’s family. I can’t believe I didn’t want to meet them at her concert. In all fairness, I like this setting better. Ali untangles us and we stand to leave. Lucy grabs me and hugs tight.

  “Thank you,” she says. I nod. I think she’s thanking me for being with Ali, but she could just be thanking me for having dinner. My romantic side says it’s the first explanation. It takes us another fifteen minutes before we’re in the car. We drive off, and I have a colossal grin on my face.

  “Thank you, Ali, that was really nice. You’re right. Your family’s amazing.” I’m completely relaxed. She strokes my cheek. “Please don’t kill us.” She laughs and looks back at the road. We’re back at the hotel in no time. I know I’ll be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Ali holds my elbow while I slip off my shoes in the elevator. I want to start stripping as we’re walking down the long hallway to my room, but I refrain. I’m leaning on Ali, my head on her shoulder because I’m exhausted. She holds me close and I can hear her hum.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  “Well, we’re going to look at houses now,” Ali tells Lucy and Avery, who are finishing up the breakfast dishes. This is my second time visiting Ali since her tour ended. I arrived last night and we spent most of the evening touching, kissing, and getting caught up on some much-needed personal time. We reach for our jackets, and I’m startled when Avery shrieks with excitement.

  “Oh, my God! You guys are finally moving in together,” she says. She starts squealing and jumping up and down. I completely freeze. I don’t dare look at Ali. I know we both have the deer-in-headlights look. The elephant in the room keeps getting bigger as the silence grows among all of us.

  “No, dork. Bethany’s going to help me find a place so I don’t have to look at your face every day for the next three months,” Ali says. I detect a slight hitch in her voice that does pique my curiosity. Ali’s mom shoots me an apologetic look and continues drying the dishes as if the past ten seconds didn’t just blow up a grenade of questions that everybody wants answers to.

  “We’ll see you later this afternoon.” Ali steers me out of the door, squeezing my waist slightly as we walk to the car. “Sorry about that. My sister loves you already.” Well, at least one Hart does. Ali sends me a heart-stopping smile and, once again, I’m under her spell.

  “It’s all right. She’s adorable and I like her, too.” I ignore Ali’s exaggerated eye roll. “It’s nice to have somebody who’s like a little sister to me. Plus, she likes to jog with me while you sleep in.” By the end of my last visit, Avery had begged me to run with her after hearing that I jog almost daily in Chicago. I enjoy spending time with her and the rest of Ali’s family. I feel like I’m already a part of them.

  “Well, if you wouldn’t exhaust me every night, then I could get up early and jog with you, too,” Ali says. Her joke causes me to blush. She steps in front of me to stop me quickly. She doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. She twirls a piece of my hair, lost in some thought she doesn’t share.

  “I’m just teasing. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She gives me a quick hug. “Let’s get in the car and warm up.” She opens the door for me and I duck inside. I’m shivering because I’m no longer wrapped in Ali’s warmth.

  “Isn’t Chicago pretty cold in the winters, too?” She notices I’m shaking when she slips into the car.

  “Yes, but I never have to leave my place. As a writer I can stay inside and be warm for four months if I want.”

  “But you miss out on the snow and the snow angels and sledding and hot chocolate after playing outside,” she says.

  “You’ve been to my place. I’m in the middle of a bunch of skyscrapers. The minute the snow falls, they scoop it up and take it away. I’m sure they’d scoop me up and take me away if I was on the sidewalk making snow angels.”

  “That’s why I want to live around here. Hannah’s still young and she loves stuff like sledding. That’s the charm of small-town life. I think I’d miss it if I had to live in a big city,” Ali says.

  Well, at least now I definitely know where Ali stands. She’d never want to live in Chicago. I completely understand. If I had a large, tight family, I wouldn’t want to leave them either. And it’s not like we’ve discussed moving in together or anything.

  “Sounds like you like that kind of stuff, too.” This is supposed to be a happy time for us since we’re together, but I’m not feeling very jovial. Something about this makes me sad. Forcing a smile, I turn to Ali. “Where’s the first house?”

  We drive about a mile away to a beautiful Victorian. We’re early to the appointment so we wait in the car.

  “It’s lovely, Ali.” The house sits on an acre of beautifully manicured land, and I can’t help but smile. “It is kind of big, though, don
’t you think? Or not. I guess I’m just used to my condo.” I backtrack, hoping I haven’t offended her.

  “It is rather grand, isn’t it?”

  A car pulls up behind us, and Ali waves to a fifty-something woman who looks more like a teacher than a real-estate agent. “Let’s see how bad it really is.” She winks at me. Introductions are made and we follow Rose up the walkway to enter the foyer.

  “Ohhh!” I say. The older architecture completely fascinates me.

  “Yes, it’s quite charming,” Rose says. “It’s listed at a reasonable price, but in today’s market, if you like it, I’m sure you can make an offer much lower. Shall we look around?”

  Ali grabs my hand and we visit each room, commenting on the pluses and minuses. I love the ornate woodwork and touch all the banisters, knobs, and rails. The house is charming, but as we investigate further, we decide the rooms are too small and to tear down the walls to modernize it would take away from its historical appearance.

  Ali decides to keep looking and we follow Rose to the next house. It’s newer but doesn’t sit on a large enough plot of land, and Ali doesn’t like how close the neighbors are. When she pulls up to the third house, we look at each other with delight. It’s a stunning house, nestled back against beautiful trees on one and a half acres. I fall in love with it instantly.

  “Oh, Ali. This is fantastic.” I’m enthralled.

  She smiles. “It’s pretty incredible, huh?”

  “It certainly has everything you want and then some. It’s not as close to town as the other two, but it’s only a few miles away,” Rose says.

  “It’s far enough away to keep my family from just stopping by, but close enough for them to come and see me when they want,” Ali says.

  “I’m so lost. How far away from your parents’ house is this?” I’m completely turned around in this town.

  “It’s only about a ten-minute drive. That’s not bad at all,” Ali says. She frowns as she contemplates all the factors. I smile at her face, crinkled in concentration.

  “Rose, we’d like to walk around for a bit longer,” I tell her. “Do you mind?”

  “Oh, no, sweetie. You go right ahead. I’m just going to check in with the office,” she says, waving her phone at us. I grab Ali’s hand and we review the layout.

  “The master bedroom is incredible. It’s the size of my condo! You could have your own studio downstairs. It should be easy to soundproof,” I say. “I love that it’s modern, but the outside has part of the Northeastern charm. What do you think?” I ask her, unable to contain my excitement.

  “I think it’s great. I’ll have to get a report of utilities and taxes and talk it over with my parents. See what they think. Plus, when I’m touring, someone from my family can check in from time to time to make sure I don’t have any problems.”

  “It comes with an alarm system. If you get this house, there really isn’t anything for you to do except maybe paint. Even the garage is move-in ready with shelves and all that dyke stuff.”

  “Bethany! I can’t believe you said that!” Ali laughs. “I barely know a hammer from a screwdriver.”

  “I’m sure your dad or your brother can help you load the pegboard and get everything you need. And you’ll have a three-car garage.” I’m excited for her.

  “Well, I might have to break down and buy a boat. It can go in the larger bay down at the end. I’m sure the builder designed it with that in mind,” she says. “We really aren’t that far from the ocean.”

  “Oh, I love the ocean! Can we go?” It’s been a while since I’ve seen the Atlantic.

  “Definitely! I’m sorry I didn’t think of that first. Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ll tell Rose that I need to do some thinking.” Ali grabs my hand. We leave Rose and get back in the car.

  “Is it weird that I want to see the house you shared with Gennifer?” I ask.

  Ali turns to look at me. “No, not at all. We can swing by if you want.”

  “Is it close to this house?”

  Ali laughs. “No, it’s on the opposite side of town. Probably twenty minutes or so from here.” Ali drives past her parents’ house and jumps on the highway, taking the third exit. After weaving through a quaint, older neighborhood, she slows down in front of a pleasant brick, two-story, bungalow-style house with a wrap-around porch. I’m surprised it’s not bigger or newer.

  “It’s from the turn of the century. The porch was always my favorite thing,” she says.

  “I think it’s cute. You picked out a nice one.” I’m not really sure what to say right now.

  “It’s not as elaborate as the ones we saw today, but I was happy to own something.”

  “I feel the same about my condo.”

  “Is it hard to buy and sell condos in Chicago?”

  “I don’t think so. Tom’s son, Brad, rents out my loft in the summers when I’m at camp, and he’s been after me to sell it. They can afford it. Even in this economy, I could probably sell it for more than I paid.”

  “Your condo’s very cool. It’s funny. The house I’m looking at seems more like you, and your condo seems more like me,” she says. “Come on. Let’s get back to the house for lunch.”

  *

  “How was it?” Lucy asks. We shrug off our coats and sit down at the table.

  “How was what?” Bill asks.

  “They looked at houses today,” Lucy says.

  “You girls are moving in together? That’s great,” he says. Again, that same damn question. I can’t find Em or Robert anywhere to get me out of here. I simply freeze.

  “No, honey. Bethany’s just helping Ali find something around here,” Lucy says. “And? Did you find anything?” she asks us.

  “Well, there is a house about ten minutes from here. It’s on an acre and a half and it’s move-in ready. Hey, Dad! Three-car garage so I’m thinking it’s time for that boat,” Ali says. They high-five and he grins the same grin. “Dad and I used to fish on the weekends. It was our special time. Besides, I was the only kid who liked to be outside, get dirty, and hook my own worm. Even Mark couldn’t do it,” she says.

  “Ali, be nice,” Lucy says. Ali rolls her eyes and winks at her mom. Apparently, their teasing is normal behavior, but I’m just not used to it yet. An only child has nobody to tease. “What do you think of the house, Beth?”

  “Oh, it’s beautiful. It’s spacious and warm, and the landscape is perfect. I like that it sits far back from the road and the backyard is private. The deck is fantastic and the kitchen is incredible,” I say. I tone it down a bit after I see the look on their faces. Perhaps I’m too excited. “I think Ali will be happy with it.”

  “You’ll have to check it out for me,” Ali tells her dad. “Make sure I’m doing the right thing. Plus, according to Beth, you get to help me pick out tools.” I reach over and pinch her playfully. “Okay, Bethany wants to go to the beach. We’ll probably be gone overnight so don’t hold dinner for us.”

  I look at Ali in surprise. It’s already two, and even though the beach is only an hour away, we still need to hit the hotel and pack a quick overnight bag. It gets dark by five thirty so we won’t get to see much tonight, but we will first thing in the morning. I’m excited.

  “Let’s go, love,” Ali says. That word causes a jolt to run through my body again. God, I love that feeling. I say good-bye to her family while Ali grabs a bag of clothes. When we get back to my hotel, she makes a few calls while I run up to my room to grab my own stuff. I’m back at the car in a flash.

  “We’re all set for the night,” Ali says. “We are staying at the Seascape Hotel. You’ll like it, I think,” she says. I wonder how many other women she’s brought up here. I force my jealous self to settle down.

  “I’m sure it’ll be nice. As long as we’re together, that’s all I care about,” I say. Being with Ali’s family is great, but I just want to touch her again. I miss her warmth. I want to strum her body to life and listen to her cry out with passion. Ali fell asleep early last nig
ht so I didn’t get as much time with her as I wanted, and I’m very needy right now. I don’t need as much sleep as she does, so I wrote and watched her rest. She’s so peaceful in her sleep. She looks innocent and perfect.

  *

  The hotel is luxurious and located right on the ocean. We quickly check in and I drag Ali out to walk the beach before sunset. It’s a cool fall afternoon, and I can’t think of a better place to be with Ali. No one else is on the beach. I reach down and touch the water.

  “It’s so cold,” I say.

  “Well, it’s mid-November and you’re on the East Coast.”

  “Yeah, but wow. I guess I didn’t expect the water temperature to drop so drastically. The weather hasn’t been that cold, has it?” I ask. Ali grabs my hands and brings them to her lips. It warms me but gives me the shivers as well. I adore her mouth and the things it does to my body.

  “I love that I can read your mind. I know exactly what you’re thinking.” She narrows her eyes at me.

  “Oh, you think so, huh?” I’m challenging her.

  “You’re thinking that you can’t wait to get back to the room so you can have your way with me, right?” Apparently, I’m very obvious. She laughs.

  “It’s not fair that you can read me like that. I can only tell by your eyes. Sometimes you give me a look that shakes me to my core.”

  “You have no idea what I’d do for you,” she says. I don’t know how to process that so I’m quiet. We walk back to the hotel, my head resting on her shoulder, both of us enjoying the simplicity of the moment. I could definitely get used to this. I want to get used to this. Eventually, we’ll have to talk about this long-distance romance we’re having. At some point, the long weekends will slow down as life catches up with us. Ali’s going on tour in Europe in February. We will have seven weeks apart. Neither of us has mentioned love or a deeper commitment. I’ve come close to blurting out my feelings, but I figure it’ll scare her off. Ultimately, I just want to be with her. I don’t care if we never discuss our feelings. I just need her. I need us. That part is scary enough.