Jolt Page 19

  We make it up to the room and I realize that Ali has booked the Honeymoon Suite. It’s a fantastic room and I take a moment to appreciate it. The view of the ocean is breathtaking. The claw-foot bathtub is big enough for both of us, and Ali suggests a bath. I can’t get my clothes off fast enough.

  “You know we’ll have to order room service because now that you’re naked, you won’t be wearing clothes again until tomorrow,” Ali says.

  “I’m still wearing my bra and panties.” It’s as though I’m wearing nothing. My lacy bra leaves nothing to the imagination, and my thong panties are almost nonexistent.

  Ali growls before capturing my mouth in a kiss that leaves us both breathless. I push up Ali’s sweater and she pulls it up over her head. I grab Ali’s pants and stare into her eyes as I slowly unbutton them and slide them down her long, sexy legs.

  “You really are beautiful,” I say. I run my tongue along her collarbone and down to the tops of her breasts. I unclasp her bra with one hand and give myself a mental high five for being so smooth. I run my hands over the softness of her breasts, marveling at her perfect body. I shiver at Ali’s moans of encouragement and continue running my hands all over her body.

  “We need to pick this up after our bubble bath, before the water gets cold,” Ali says. She moves out of my grasp. She kisses away my frown and gingerly steps into the steaming tub of bubbles. She reaches out and I quickly join her. After adjusting myself to fit in the curve of her long body, I lean my head back against her chest.

  “This is really nice. We fit well together,” Ali says. She dabs my hand with bubbles.

  “You should get a tub like this for your new house. Or wait. Isn’t the Jacuzzi tub in the master suite about this size?” I ask.

  “I think so. I hope my dad approves the house.”

  “Please don’t bring up your dad while we’re in the bathtub.”

  She laughs. “You know, my whole family loves you so much. Everybody’s happy that I’m happy again. It’s been a long time, you know.”

  “But you and Gennifer only broke up, what, six months ago?”

  “True, but we weren’t a couple for about six months prior to the official breakup. My family never liked her. They thought she was stuck up and just not nice.”

  “I can’t believe that. I can’t believe you’d be with somebody like that,” I say. She shrugs.

  “I’ve done a lot of growing up in the last few years. I’m sure that had a lot to do with my decision to end things with her. When we first got together, we were happy and carefree. Looking back, I think we were just young and obnoxious. And rude to my family. People change though. Plus, everybody puts their best foot forward when they first start dating.”

  “Well, I think we’ve been pretty honest with each other, right? At least since our talk. But even before that.” She kisses my head in agreement. We’re quiet for only a moment. I’m relaxing, but I’m pretty sure Ali has something else in mind.

  She slides her hands down my body, rubbing gently in all the right spots. I moan as she palms my soapy breasts, then rubs a washcloth across my nipples, the friction driving me crazy. Jolts of pleasure, almost pain, surge through me. I run my hands up and down Ali’s leg, squeezing her knees with every jolt. When her fingers find the junction of my thighs, I spread my legs and push my knees against the sides of the bathtub, allowing her full access.

  “You’re the most passionate person I’ve ever known.” Her raspy voice is low in my ear. Her fingers slowly rub my pussy, spreading me apart. “I love how you feel in my arms and how much you trust me,” she says.

  I respond by leaning back and kissing her. Our tongues touch and our passion intensifies.

  “God, Ali.” I moan. I lift my hips up, giving her better access.

  “We’re getting water all over the floor. Let’s go to the bed,” she says.

  “No, no, no. We’re fine. Please.” I don’t even care that I’m begging at this point.

  She continues rubbing me, this time finding my clit in the steamy water.

  “Yes…yes…see?” I try to reason with her. I don’t want her to stop. I raise my hips up and down, tensing up as she applies more and more pressure. I don’t care that my movements are creating tiny waves that splash over the sides. I just need to come. I almost laugh at how selfish I am. I could hold off a few minutes longer and enjoy Ali’s hands on me and feel her mouth kissing and biting my neck, but I know we have all night and one selfish orgasm isn’t going to ruin it. I push my knees against the side of the tub and come hard. I want to laugh and cry and scream, but I sink back into Ali instead.

  “You’re incredible,” Ali says. I can only breathe deeply and try to calm myself. For a fast orgasm, that was amazing. God, I could get used to this. This intimacy with Ali is new and exciting, and I want more and more every time we’re together. It’s getting harder to say good-bye after weekends like this.

  Ali coaxes me up and grabs towels for us. We giggle at the amount of water that’s outside of the tub, pooling in front of it.

  “Let’s order room service and continue this over there,” Ali says. She points to the king-sized bed. “I believe you owe me several more of those orgasms.”

  “I believe it’s my turn to do delicious things to your body.” I grin wickedly at her. I like that I’m getting bold. I figure I might as well have fun with her. We slip on hotel robes and make our way to the bed. Ali uncorks the complimentary champagne and I look at the menu.

  “There isn’t a whole lot of vegetarian-friendly food on the menu.”

  “I’m sure they’ll make us whatever we want,” she says. “Let’s find out.” She calls room service and orders fettuccine Alfredo and garlic bread. She also asks for chocolate ice cream for dessert because she knows it’s my favorite.

  “How long did they say?” I ask.

  “About twenty minutes.” She slides her full length against me on the bed. “What would you like to do until then?”

  “I have an idea.” I find the knot on her robe and loosen it, exposing her warm body.

  “Mmm, I like your ideas.”

  I kiss her again and she leans up to straddle me. I run my hands down to her hips and pull her up on her knees. Ali smiles against my lips, but then I hear her moan when I find her wet pussy.

  “Oh, yeah, I like your ideas a lot,” she says.

  As soon as I slip my fingers inside, she starts rocking her hips against my hand. I’m in awe of her passion. She knows her body so well and how to move it and get the most out of every thrust and touch. She doesn’t hold anything back.

  “I love how wet you are right now,” I say. She opens her eyes and looks into mine. That look makes me gasp. It’s raw and hungry. My confidence grows. “I love how your body molds perfectly to mine, in every way.”

  Ali crushes her mouth to mine. We don’t speak again until she comes. She slows her hips as the waves of passion subside. I gently remove my hand and smile as she collapses on me.

  “Well, now I understand why you didn’t want to stop in the bathtub,” she says. I hold her for all of about thirty seconds until we both jump up at somebody knocking on the door.

  Somebody says, “Room service,” and we scramble around searching for our robes, trying to cover up.

  “This room smells like sex,” I whisper. Ali laughs.

  “That’s what people do in this room!” she says.

  She opens the door and allows the server to enter. I look at Ali and smile. She has the I-just-had-sex look. Her hair is tousled, her body still flush with passion. The server smiles at both of us. I can’t get him out of the room fast enough.

  “He totally knew what we were doing.” Ali laughs. I’m embarrassed at having been caught. The openness of our relationship is still very new to me. I’ve been very private sexually. Because Crystal was in the closet, we were always on our best behavior and never engaged in public displays of affection. At the time, I didn’t care, but now I can’t imagine not being able to touch Ali or
hold her hand whenever I want. It’s amazing to me how different Crystal and Ali are. Ali doesn’t care if people approve or disapprove of her. She commands attention everywhere she goes and does what she wants, when she wants. I’ve never advertised my sexuality, but I don’t hide it either.

  Ali sets up a delicious picnic on the bed and I go over to her. I have to remind myself to play it cool. She seems so happy with how our relationship is going, and I don’t want to tip the scales. Balance is nice. Balance is safe. Balance is boring. I join Ali on the bed, and we rest against the padded headboard and eat.

  “Don’t forget we have ice cream,” I remind her after she clears her plate.

  “Somebody made me hungry,” she says. She leans down and kisses me. It starts off playfully enough, but soon enough we’re pushing our plates out of the way and tearing off our robes.

  *

  The next morning comes too soon. I wake up to Ali playing with my hair.

  “Hi.” My voice cracks and is not sexy like hers.

  “Hey there. Good morning,” Ali says. She kisses me softly. “I’m surprised to see you still in bed. I never get a chance to see you sleep.”

  I smile shyly.

  “I guess you wore me out last night. What time is it?” I look at the clock. It’s just after eight. “Good. We still have most of the day.”

  “We can either get up and spend the day in town, or…” Ali’s voice is lilting and suggestive. I watch her draw patterns on my stomach and trace imaginary circles around my breasts. I love being naked with her.

  “Hmm. Our options are limitless.” I relax and enjoy her touch.

  “But our time isn’t,” she says.

  “Look, Debbie Downer, I don’t leave until five. That gives us nine hours to do anything and everything we want. And I’ll see you again in a few weeks.”

  I notice a faraway look in her eyes. “Hey. Where are you?” I ask.

  “Sorry. I was just thinking of things.”

  “What kind of things?”

  “What all I need to do here in the next few weeks. I have the tour coming up. I need to figure out what has to be done,” she says. And here I thought she was thinking about me.

  “When was the last time you were in Europe?”

  “It’s been about two years. I think I have more fans overseas than I do here. It should be interesting,” she says. “You should come with me.”

  I try not to jump up and squeal like a little girl.

  “I could probably get away for a little bit,” I say. I keep my voice calm.

  “I’ll show you the time of your life,” she promises between soft kisses that increase in strength until talking is no longer an option.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  “Here we are again,” Ali says. It’s more of a grumble as we walk through the automatic doors at Logan International. “You know how much I hate this.” I don’t say anything. I squeeze her hand instead.

  “I’ll be back in a week.” I’m trying to be reassuring. I leave her for a moment to check in and dump my luggage. She reaches for my hand the second I return. I love that. “Come on, let me buy you lunch. The flight is delayed thirty minutes. More time together.” I’m trying to lighten the heavy mood. I find a small bar and we sit down.

  “This is the part I hate. This is when I get to pout and plead for you not to go,” Ali says. I can tell she means it.

  “I need to meet with Tom and a few of the other editors about the book tomorrow. We’re getting close to finalizing everything and then I’m free. Or else I’d stay here.” I really mean it. I’d much rather be here. It’s getting harder to say good-bye and that surprises me. I’ve always thought relationships fizzled out after a few months, but we’re much stronger now than we ever have been.

  I try to keep Ali’s mind off the fact that I’m leaving by talking about things that happened over the week. I bring up Avery and how she accidentally slipped into the lake and how Lucy’s dog made us laugh by running figure eights in the backyard. Ali smiles at that. Something about a dog running a continuous path is a riot. I reach out and hold Ali’s hand. We fit so well together. I look around the bar. People are looking at us, not because we’re holding hands, but because Ali is very popular in the Northeast and people recognize her. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but it bothers me more today because Ali’s so visibly upset. I hear my flight boarding and tug on her hand.

  “Walk me to the gate?” I ask.

  “Of course.” We walk quietly and slowly to the security checkpoint.

  “I always have such a great time with you,” I say. She pulls me close and holds me tight. “And I’ll see you soon and we can go shopping for your family and you can show me how wonderful the holidays are in a small Northeastern town.” I’m trying everything to make her smile. She kisses me softly.

  “I love you, Beth,” Ali says. It’s a whisper, and I’m not one hundred percent sure that’s what she just said. She looks sad, but hopeful, and kisses my cheek. I can’t move. I take tiny, short breaths. The sounds around me are loud and roaring, and I feel like I may pass out. Another climax of my life, and again I freeze. I stand there, truly dumbfounded for the first time. I can’t talk or think so I just stand there, rooted by some unknown force that has rendered me speechless. She smiles at me, her sweet, beautiful lips, so red and delicious. I want to kiss her back, but I feel myself slipping away instead. I need to leave. I need to process her declaration.

  Did that just happen? I’ve been told before that I’m loved, but this seems so raw and real. I think I’m ready for it, this unknown type of intense love, so why am I walking in the other direction? Why am I headed through security and getting on this flight? I turn to see if I can find her before I board the plane, but she’s already gone. I barely find my seat and sink into it hard. I shrink into a little ball and stare out window, my forehead pressed against the cold glass. I don’t see anything. I barely even feel the cold.

  In movies and in books, when the hero confesses love, she’s met with joy and happiness and tears. When my hero announces her love for me, I run. Part of me is smacking myself in the head for being a complete jackass, while the other part is telling me to take my time and process the information. Am I ready to open myself up so completely with Ali? Can I give one hundred percent and love her the way she deserves to be loved? What happens if I do give her my heart and we build a life together, with her family, and she cheats on me? Can I handle another woman breaking my heart, all the while laughing at me as she and her new partner erase me? Again? I sigh.

  I know I’m not being fair to Ali. I can’t hold her responsible for what Crystal did to me, and I’m sure deep in my heart that she didn’t cheat on me with Gennifer. This means that one of us will have to give up her life to be with the other. And it will be me because I can’t tear Ali away from her family. I want them as much as she does.

  Em, Robert, and Shakespeare are so angry with me right now. My poets are all about love and harmony, and they’ve been pushing me to open up to Ali since the moment we saw her. For months, we’ve been trying to evolve this relationship, and finally, finally she opens up to me and I clam up and run the other way. Shakespeare is beating his head against a wall, Robert is pacing, his hands clenched in tight fists in his pockets, and Emily is in the corner crying. I’m scared. I’m afraid to let myself go. Again. Thankfully, Mr. Frost shows compassion. He reminds me that in this world of uncertainties, we just want love. We want that irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

  I know this, and the more we discuss, the larger an asshole I become. I realize that Ali is taking a risk by giving me her all. And she wants to. I have the perfect woman and I just left her hanging. I’m so upset with myself. I need off this plane. I need to see her and explain to her that I was overwhelmed by her confession, but I feel the same way. We both deserve the chance to be happy. Emily still isn’t talking to me. I’m a bit worried.

  By the time the plane lands, I’m completely exhausted, but
I’m sure of certain things now. Ali truly loves me and I love her. I have for a long time now but never wanted to admit it for fear of rejection. Since we got back together, Ali has never given me a reason to doubt her faithfulness. She’s available to talk, text, and email twenty-four seven. She has always been there for me. As we taxi toward our gate, I’m furiously typing on my phone, trying to find a flight back to Boston. There aren’t any direct flights tonight, but realistically I know that I can’t turn around. My meeting tomorrow can’t be rescheduled, and the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can get back to Ali. I try calling her, but she doesn’t answer.

  “Ali, I’m going straight to your voice mail. Please call me when you get this.”

  I wait. I check my phone every few minutes while I’m waiting for my luggage, but still no Ali. Where the hell is she? I hope and pray she isn’t completely pissed at me. I was a complete jerk. I break down and decide to call Avery.

  She answers her phone after the fifth ring. “Hi, Avery. It’s Beth. How are you?”

  “Beth! I’m good. You missed me so much you had to call, huh?” she says.

  “Of course! That’s why I’m calling. To hear your voice,” I say. “Actually, I’m trying to reach Ali and can’t get her. Is she around?”

  “Ah, you know, I’m not sure, really. She could be. She was here after she dropped you off, but then I think she left again.” She couldn’t be more vague if she tried. I stop myself from growling in frustration.

  “Oh, okay. Well, if you see her, please have her call me. It doesn’t matter what time. I’ll be up for a bit.”

  “Sure. Well, I gotta go now. See you soon!” Avery hangs up and I realize that was a very strange conversation.

  *

  I’m done unpacking and I’m in the kitchen baking. I still can’t reach Ali and now I’m getting concerned. I hope she wasn’t in an accident or somebody kidnapped her. God, I hate my imagination sometimes. I’ve checked my phone about a dozen times, but I don’t have a single text or missed call. I throw myself back into my baking because I don’t know what else to do.