Falling Page 8

  “This place is booming today,” I said once we escaped the confinement of the café. We walked across the street to the park, but it was just as crowded because of a fund-raiser for AIDS awareness. We couldn’t find a quiet spot anywhere.

  “I’ve never seen it this busy. Do you just want to come up to my place? I’m sure Clifford would like to say hello,” she said.

  “Clifford never gave me a second thought after our initial meeting.” I was sure Clifford could smell a mixture of fear and lack of commitment to yoga seeping from my pores, but a chance to hang out with Piper in her space sounded really nice.

  “Clifford’s just a snob. We’re nothing alike.” She winked and motioned for us to cross the street.

  We were at her place in no time. The plain red brick building wasn’t much to look at, but it was everything you could want inside. We took a large freight elevator with vertical bi-parting doors up. Piper’s apartment was a converted loft with exposed pipes and high ceilings. I expected an explosion of art, but only one large canvas hung on the wall. There were several welded sculptures and various forms of pottery everywhere, but nothing as eye catching as the canvas.

  “This is gorgeous, Piper,” I said. The entire loft was less than a thousand square feet, but she utilized every inch in a very comfortable and trendy way, including three bicycles attached to the far wall by shiny red hooks. Her bedroom was accessible by a suspended staircase. I couldn’t see much from this vantage point, except for a ball of orange and white fur curled up at the end of her bed. There were no internal walls and only a few doors which I assumed were closets and a bathroom.

  “Thank you. I really like it. It’s perfect for me.”

  I remembered that Robin didn’t live here. I wanted to know where she used to live, but knew it was rude to ask. “Do you use those bikes or are they for decoration only?”

  She laughed. “I use them. Do you have a mountain bike? If not, you can borrow one of mine for our camping trip in a few months.”

  My heart fluttered and I put my hand on my chest to keep it from spilling out. She was serious.

  “If yoga doesn’t kill me first,” I said.

  “Since your coffee was a complete bust, how about a cup of tea? I can ice it,” she said.

  “Whatever you have. I’m not picky.”

  I sat on the couch and continued to admire her place. I was jealous that she was so cool and trendy. My house was cute but very boring. All of my artwork was mass-produced stuff that I purchased online or at houseware stores because they were cheap and easy. I was positive everything artsy in Piper’s place was original.

  She handed me an iced tea with crushed peppermint leaves. I feared the greenery would get caught in my teeth. Before I could even ask, she put a straw in it. She handed me a honey bear from a local apiary that made me smile.

  “In case you like your tea sweetened. I don’t have sugar here,” she said.

  I thought about the third drawer down in my kitchen that housed nothing but chocolate bars, gummy bears, Tootsie Rolls, lollipops, and anything packed full of sugar to appease my sweet tooth and my mood swings. “No sugar? Don’t you like sweet things?” I asked.

  “Oh, that’s my problem. If I had sugar here, I’d weigh twenty pounds more.”

  I was probably twenty pounds heavier than Piper. I looked at the muffin top that was beginning to form at my waistline. I passed on the honey. The tea was slightly bitter, but I was determined to drink every last drop.

  “You strike me as the kind of person who would never let herself get out of shape,” I said.

  “I lost a lot of weight after the accident.” Her voice was serious and quiet. I had an urge to put my arm across her shoulders and give her a sideways hug, but we weren’t there.

  “I did the exact opposite. I mean, I couldn’t eat for a few weeks, but then I couldn’t get enough food. I ate everything. So, now I take yoga.” I smiled.

  “Oh, stop. You look good. And yoga will help with muscle tone and flexibility. By the end of class, you’ll see an improvement, I promise you.”

  I made a mental note to start jogging. I was going to have to get in shape if I was going to keep up with Piper and her friends in less than two months. Marisa was good at enrolling us in intramural sports around town, but it was more of an opportunity to meet people. Great for her, but not too many lesbians played on the teams she signed us up for. Most sports had their own LGBTQIA teams, but this gave us something to do together as friends. So, we played Frisbee golf and beach volleyball and even snowboarded together. Last time Marisa allowed me to pick an activity, I enrolled us in a French cooking class for eight weeks. By the third class, we were drinking wine and barely cooking. The entire class was made up of forty-year-old divorcées who hated everybody. We didn’t even go to the last class. After that, I was grounded from choosing activities.

  “How have you been spending your nights? Has your family helped you cope with things?” I asked. I took the last sip of iced tea. The glass had peppermint leaves stuck to the inside of it. I set it on a ceramic coaster.

  She shrugged. “There’s really only so much people can say. I just need to work through things, but I’m getting better. I’m seeing a counselor a few times a week and that’s helped so much. I can sleep through the night now.”

  I wish I knew her secret. Most of the time I woke up gasping for air as the nightmare of the crash invaded my dreams. I didn’t remember having a hard time breathing at the crash site, but that night was sketchy at best. Several frames of my memory disappeared. I didn’t remember reaching the bottom of the escape slide, or when help arrived and I couldn’t tell them my name or anything about me. The doctor said that was normal, though. The brain had a way of protecting itself. I was fully alert at the hospital when I woke up and gave the nurse on duty my name and address.

  “I’m glad you are getting help. It’s helped me, too. I’ve never been a fan of therapy before, but it’s good to talk about it,” I said.

  “Has it changed you a lot?” She winced at her own question. “I mean, it certainly has changed my life, but in a totally different way.”

  I sighed and leaned back against the couch. She reached over and touched my forearm.

  “You don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry.”

  I put my hand over hers for a brief moment and patted it so that she didn’t think I was trying to hold her hand. “It’s made me realize I need to appreciate every day. I’m doing things that I never would have, like yoga and agreeing to go on a camping bike trip.” I didn’t want it to sound like all of my changes were about her, so I was quick to continue the list. “And I rode a horse. I trust people more. I believe there is more good than evil in this world. I’m not as skeptical as I used to be.” I could have gone on and on, but it wasn’t fair for me to go on about the importance of life when she’d lost two of her favorite people.

  “I’m happy for you, Shaylie. Really, really happy. Life is so important.” Piper grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest.

  “How did Emma and Robin get along? Were they close?” I hated myself for asking, but it seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk about them.

  “They were close. They fought a lot, too, but for the most part, they got along.”

  “Why were they in New York?”

  “There was a deal Robin was trying to wrap up. Did I tell you she was a financial advisor?”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t about interrupt to her. I wanted answers so I could make sense of what I saw.

  “Her company sent her there to close a deal, but she needed someone to help draft up the paperwork. Her assistant was sick and Emma reluctantly volunteered. It was only two days. I shouldn’t have insisted she go and help Robin out.” Her voice was heavy with regret.

  “Nobody ever knows what’s going to happen,” I said.

  We were both quiet as that thought sank in.

  “It has made me nervous about things I never would have thought about before. Like driving,
” she said.

  “Driving doesn’t bother me, but the idea of flying is pretty scary. I’m sure I’ll work up the courage to fly again, but right now, I just can’t stomach the thought. Enough of that. Tell me more about Robin. A financial advisor? Did she love it?”

  “She was just starting to make a name for herself. Things were clicking for her.” Piper stopped talking for a few moments and smiled at a thought. “That’s one of the reasons she proposed. She knew it was soon, but she was ready to commit. I wasn’t.”

  “What?” Her confession floored me. “What changed your mind?”

  Piper shrugged. “Six months isn’t enough time to really get to know somebody. Funny thing was that Emma didn’t think I was ready either. I eventually agreed, but under the condition that we had a long engagement. Robin was very charming and very persuasive.”

  I could feel my cheeks warm at the knowledge that Robin and Emma were definitely sneaking around, and that pissed me off. Piper was sweet and sensitive and I felt this fierce need to protect her even though we were new friends.

  “Did you get things worked out with Robin’s family? Is that bad to ask?” I regretted my question when the half smile on her face slid away.

  “Yeah, I gave them her apartment key but not before I got my things out of there. But only my things,” she quickly added as if I thought she would steal.

  “I’m sure. Not judging. I don’t know what people share. I’ve never been engaged or lived with anybody before. I mean, roommates, yes, but girlfriends? No.”

  “Never? You? Seriously?” Piper sounded so incredulous that I had to smile at her disbelief.

  “Never. I just never have been that close to anybody. I’ve had girlfriends and women I dated, but nothing serious. Both Marisa and I have had the same luck, although I have high hopes for her and Jason.” I smiled. I was so happy about her and Jason.

  “He’s really nice and Marisa seems sweet. You’ve only known her since college? You seem really close.”

  “Do you have any lifelong friends?” I cringed when I realized Emma was probably her one lifelong friend. “I mean, since you’ve lived in Colorado your whole life.”

  She waved me off. “I was really shy and quiet growing up. I lost myself in books. My best friend in high school pretty much disappeared when I went to college. I met Emma and now she’s gone.”

  I couldn’t help it. I reached over and squeezed her hand. I was rewarded with a small smile.

  “I’m friends with the instructors at Bodhi. They are the ones who like to bike and camp. It’s hard to meet people to have just as friends. People my age are getting married and starting families,” she said.

  “Well, like Jason’s mom said, even though the event was catastrophic, she was glad to have me as a part of their lives. I’m glad you’re a part of mine.” That didn’t sound too selfish, did it?

  “My heart hurts, but at least not to the point where if I think about what happened, I’ll throw up. I’ll move on at some point, but it will take me some time. I just wish I knew how long it was going to take,” she said.

  I didn’t realize I was still holding her hand until I felt the pressure of her fingers against mine. I gave her another squeeze and pulled my hand away. I needed to distance myself from Piper and fast. I was sure there was a condition for this—displaced affection or something obsessive. Marisa was right. I was projecting my newfound lease on life onto somebody who was not emotionally available.

  “Piper, you’re a wonderful person. Please don’t punish yourself. What happened to you and Robin and Emma and all the other people on board was a tragedy. I have a different outlook. I survived it. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but you’ll get through it. Life has a way of giving us hope.” I prayed that I didn’t sound like a total ass. We were definitely at two different places and I had to tread lightly.

  “I know that you’re right. I will get through this. Thank you for talking to me. I do appreciate it.”

  That was my cue to leave.

  “I should probably go finish up laundry and the rest of my boring chores.” I stood and took my glass to the kitchen sink. I could feel her watching me. I was both unnerved and exhilarated. Did she find me attractive? Would I have been somebody she dated in a different world? Would she ever get over her heartache?

  “It’s nice to talk to somebody who isn’t afraid of me. Everybody tiptoes because they are scared I will fall apart or they will say the wrong thing.” She walked me to the elevator.

  “I’m glad we’re friends. And I promise only to be afraid of you in class. Oh, and I love your place. Thanks for the invite. I like getting out, too.”

  We were at the awkward good-bye stage where I stood by the door and waited for the elevator to climb three stories. When it opened, I turned to her and she immediately walked into my hug.

  “I’ll see you at yoga in a few days,” she said. Her genuine smile was heart-stopping. In that instant, I didn’t see sadness or pain. I saw hope and her true beauty. It was breathtaking.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Was this one any better?”

  Piper stood with her feet on either side of my hips and looked down at me. She was smiling that sexy smile again.

  “I kind of hate you right now,” I said. I wanted to stare at her from this position for a little bit longer, but she reached her hands out and I had no choice but to accept her help. I was a sweaty mess and my muscles were angry, but I popped up with her help.

  “You don’t hate me. You’ll hate me in a few months when the intermediate classes start. This right now? It’s easy.”

  Her wicked smile unleashed a million butterflies in my stomach. I picked up my towel and wiped the sweat off my face and the back of my neck. At least I knew at my worst, Piper still considered me a friend. I looked around for the closest chair.

  “Come on. Let’s go to my office for a bit.” It was as if she read my mind and my need to collapse.

  I bypassed the chair and playfully dived on the couch, facedown. I heard her laugh.

  “You’re never going to survive the bike trip. Maybe we need to get out on the bikes so my friends don’t abandon us on the trail.”

  I groaned into the pillow. “I really do hate you. How are you in such great shape?”

  “It’s my job to be in shape. Everything I do, I do well.”

  I flipped over and stared at her. She wrinkled her nose and winked. I was anxious to get to know this playful side of Piper.

  “Hey, Piper? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Another instructor peeked her head into Piper’s office. She, too, was gorgeous. Her long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she was wearing even less clothing than Piper. I swallowed and sat up.

  “Come on in, Lani. This is Shaylie,” Piper said.

  I stood to shake Lani’s hand, hating that I was sweating and not fit for public appearance. Her eyes widened slightly as if she realized who I was. She quickly reached her hand out.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Shaylie. Are you taking Piper’s class?” All of her attention was on me.

  “You mean, is Piper torturing me twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Why yes, yes, she is,” I said. Lani squeezed my hand and laughed before she turned away.

  “Piper, I was wondering if you could handle my class Friday night? There’s a fifty-mile bike ride that just popped up and I wanted to get some track down.”

  I stared at Lani’s legs. Her calves were muscular and she seemed very fit, but she didn’t strike me as a cyclist.

  “Lani is part of the group for the Labor Day camping trip. I invited Shaylie along.”

  “I’m never going to survive.” I groaned and fell back on the couch.

  Lani touched my knee. “You’ll be fine. We have more fun than we exercise.”

  “Somehow I don’t believe you.”

  She laughed. “You’re better off that way. Anyway, thanks for covering for me, Piper. I owe you one. And you.” She pointed at me. “You have plenty of tim
e to get in shape. Five weeks. I’ll see you around.” She winked and slipped out of the room.

  I turned to Piper. “I’m going to hate all of you, aren’t I?”

  “Lani is very competitive. She’s great, though.”

  “She looks young.”

  “She’s twenty-nine. Her mother could pass for her sister. They have good genes.”

  “No way is she almost thirty.” I was shocked. She was older than Piper.

  “That’s what yoga and exercise will do,” Piper said.

  “Ha ha ha. Well, we’re going to have to bike if I’m expected to keep up with that.” I thumbed behind me.

  “Lani’s right. It’s really casual, but we can go out and start biking if you want.” Piper handed me a cold water that I immediately put against my cheek.

  “One day you’ll have to explain yoga to me and why it kicks my ass. I jogged three miles last night like it was no biggie. One hour here and I’m a mess.” I held my hand up. “But not today. Today I’m going to drag my weary body into my car and drive home.”

  “How about tomorrow? Want to meet at Confluence? They have a decent trail. You can borrow one of my bikes,” she said.

  My night was completely open. I gave it some thought, as if I was going through the calendar of things I had planned, and slowly nodded. “Yes, but how are we going to get the bikes there?”

  “I have a bike rack.”

  “On your Bug? How does it work?”

  “I have a Corolla, too. The bug isn’t completely reliable. It’s more for easy drives around town.”

  “That sounds good. When is your last class?” I already knew it was over at six, but I couldn’t let on that I knew her schedule. It was on the website. When she invited me to Bodhi, I’d checked out the different classes and which ones she taught.

  “Six. Can you meet me at my place at six-fifteen? That should give me enough time to get the bikes ready.”

  “That’s perfect. I have a meeting at two downtown, so that gives me plenty of time to get home, changed, and back to you.” Invigorated that I would see her tomorrow, I stood, drank the last of my water, and headed toward the door. “Thanks for the workout today, but I still hate you.” I winked at her as I closed the door.