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  “I don’t think you need a Band-Aid, but I can get you one if you want,” Ali says, looking back at me. I shake my head and lean forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. She deepens the kiss and tries not to bump my leg. I spread my legs so she can move in between them. Within a few seconds, our kiss escalates. Her hands grab my waist, slide down to cup my hips, and pull me to her. If I scoot an inch forward, just an inch, I’ll be against her. As if reading my mind, Ali pulls me closer. I gasp, automatically breaking our kiss. Ali’s expression is serious, her eyes almost closed. I watch her lips part, swollen with desire. I run my thumb along her bottom lip, the velvety softness almost undetectable by touch. I want to bite it, suck it, run my tongue over it. I’m shaking. Ali feels my reaction, too, and tries to push away.

  “No,” I say. “Don’t move.” I pause. “I want this too much.” I’m embarrassed by my confession, but time really is our enemy and I know that it’s now or never. I smile at Ali and reach up to soothe her frown away. My smile deepens. Ali doesn’t know that I’m not wearing anything underneath this dress and her hands are about to find out soon. I run my hands up Ali’s shoulders, up her neck, and wind them in her long hair. I kiss her hard, hearing soft, deep moans inside her chest. Her fingers briefly play with the hem of my dress, then slip underneath and grab my thighs. I wrap my legs around her waist, drawing her closer. Her hands move higher and I feel the exact moment she realizes I’m not wearing panties. Her fingertips flutter for a bit, searching.

  “Oh, my God,” she breathes against my mouth. I can’t help but smile. Ali licks her lips and her mouth slashes against mine, all gentleness gone. She slides her hands back down to my thighs and spreads them farther apart. I can feel the heat of her hands and silently beg her to slide her fingers up and touch me, slip inside me, pound against me until I come. I reach up to unbutton her shirt, but then I stop. Shit.

  “Ali, Ali, wait.” I break our kiss. She looks at me, seeming confused.

  “I so don’t want to stop, but I need a shower,” I say. I know I look and smell like a drowned rat. I pull away from her. She frowns and opens her mouth, then shuts it again. I see the wheels turning and know she’s humoring me. She helps me off the counter. I walk around her, touching her waist as I pass. I don’t know how I’m able to walk away, but I do and practically sprint to my room to shower. I lean back against the door and catch my breath. This is really, finally happening. I turn on the hot water and rip off my dress, anxious to wash up. I tell myself to calm down. People have sex every day. Ali is probably used to fans throwing themselves at her, offering her whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I remember Ali grabbing my thighs, her fingers so warm against my skin. I gasp at the memory. I’m desperate for her. Last night got away from us with hardly any physical contact, and I’m sure as hell not going to let that happen again. I finish my shower and throw on a pair of silky pajama shorts and a camisole. The look is perfect. Cute and sexy. I step out of my room to find her and pick up where we left off.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I hear Ali turn off her shower and I shiver with a mixture of anticipation and fear. Standing by the bay window in her room, I look out at the moonlit lake without really seeing it. I’m far too anxious to see its beauty. My body is still tingling from earlier and I’m on edge. I’m so ready for this next step. I’m sure that if I hadn’t fallen into the lake, we would still be in the kitchen; only instead of the countertop, we’d be on the floor. I hear the click of the door, but I don’t turn around. I know Ali will come to me and it’ll just be a few more seconds before I feel her touch again. Chills race across my arms and shoulders as I feel Ali’s body heat right behind me.

  “I can always tell when you’re near me. My body responds to you before I actually see you,” I whisper. She leans down and runs her lips across my bare skin. Her tongue trails up to my neck and I lean back into her, tilting my head to allow her better access.

  “You feel so good,” Ali says. Her hands slide down to my hips. She pulls me back until our bodies are completely flush. Her kisses become more assertive, and her lips suck against my neck with passion. I moan and reach up to wind my hands deep in her hair, pulling her closer. When her teeth graze my skin, my knees threaten to give out. My body’s on fire even though I’m covered in chills. My nipples are painfully erect and my shorts are already drenched. I can feel slickness on my leg and my body swelling with each intimate kiss. I break away from her long enough to turn around.

  “Are you sure about this?” she asks. I smile in response and kiss her with as much passion as I can without scaring her. I push her toward the bed, kissing her until we reach the mattress. Ali sits down and pulls me to stand between her legs. She runs her fingertips over my legs and slips them under my shorts, barely touching my upper thighs. I’m torn between pressing into her and taking my time, savoring every touch. I rest my hands on her shoulders. She moves her hands and slides my camisole up. Her lips are on my stomach. I lean into her, running my fingers through her hair, pulling her even closer. Realizing I’m probably suffocating her, I soften my grip. Her hands slide higher until her thumbs brush the underside of my breasts. I’m done waiting. I lean down until her hands completely cup my full breasts. Her thumbs rub my nipples and I groan. I capture Ali’s mouth with mine and we tumble back onto the bed. My body is so alive right now. I feel the roughness and smoothness of Ali’s hands and whimper with wanting more. I wiggle out of my camisole, the need to feel her skin against mine so strong. I slip my hands under the T-shirt Ali is wearing and marvel at how smooth and hard she is. Her heart beats against my hand. I lean down and place a small, delicate kiss on her navel.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” I say. “I’ve wanted to touch you and taste you and just be with you.”

  “Oh, God, Beth. Me, too, but I didn’t want to push you.”

  She shivers under my touch, so I continue to explore her body. I nudge her shirt up with my nose, finally tasting her skin. I move higher and higher until it’s time to either rip off her shirt or beg Ali to sit up so I can take it off. She reads my mind and quickly removes it. She tangles her hands in my hair, pulling me back down on the bed for an intense kiss. I hear moans, but I don’t know if they’re coming from me or her. I roll on my back, pulling Ali with me so she’s nestled between my legs. We both gasp at the contact. Ali breaks our kiss and stares at me.

  “You felt that, too,” she breathes. I can’t find words right now, so I nod and stare at her lips, wondering why they’re so far away from mine. I lick my lips and look into her eyes again. She responds by kissing me, the urgency between us getting stronger and stronger. She sucks on my bottom lip, and her teeth scrape it, bite it, soothe the sharpness with her tongue. It’s a phenomenal kiss and I’m ready to come right now. I’m torn between plunging into her and slowing down. Her hips start moving against mine. I can hear little moans escape the harder she presses into me.

  If we continue like this, we’re both going to come. I want to be between her legs, tasting her, feeling the tension leave her body when she does. I don’t want it to happen like this. I need to be inside her and feel her warmth and her wetness. I can’t get her panties off fast enough. She’s perfect. I slide my hands over her hips and down her thighs. I run my fingers gently up and down her slit, feeling the pearly wetness on my fingers. She moans again against my mouth and I know I have to be inside her. I want to be gentle, but I’m not. I thrust my index finger inside her, and I rub her clit with my thumb. I can feel her tremble in my arms and know I should slow down, but she’s pushing against my hand. I break our kiss for a moment, forcing her to look at me. When she does, her eyes are almost closed, her lips swollen with passion. She focuses on me and I slide my middle finger inside her.

  “Oh, God, Beth!” Her lips find mine again. I move my fingers in and out until all I’m doing is holding them in place as her hips start moving faster, pushing against my hand. I feel her tighten around my fingers. She’s close to coming. “Don’t stop. You feel incre
dible. I’m so close.” I hold her tight and pump my fingers inside her.

  Within moments, she comes. It’s a beautiful sight. Her head is thrown back in passion, her body shaking. I’m in complete awe. I’ve never been with anyone as passionate and giving as Ali. She slows her hips and eventually stills. I can still feel tiny pulsing quivers inside her. I decide I want to stay here forever. “That was incredible, Ali,” I say. I brush her hair away from her face. “You’re so beautiful.”

  We kiss again and I know I’m far from being done. I need to taste her. Right now. I bring my fingers up to my mouth. She moans as she watches. She’s deliciously tangy, salty and sweet, and I have to have more. Ideally, I’d plant tiny kisses all over her body, but I’m greedy and I don’t want to wait. My trail of kisses goes straight down until I’m between her thighs. God, I’ve missed this. This whole experience, and with Ali, the intensity is tenfold.

  “I want to go slow. I want this night to be incredible,” I say. True to my word, I work my mouth all over her body, licking, sucking. I gently finger her core, slow at first, then fast, building her up, slowing her down. When I think she’s going to finish herself off out of frustration, I reclaim her clit with my mouth and push into her as far as I can. Her legs are spread and they tremble with every lick. Her breathing is short and raspy, punctuated by sensual moans that almost make me come. Her hands weave in my hair and pull me closer. I move everything faster—my hands, my mouth, my tongue—until she crests.

  “Yes, Bethany, yes!” Her entire body tightens. She shakes so much as she’s coming that I’m worried. “I can’t take any more,” she says. I smile. I pleased this woman thoroughly.

  “You’re amazing.” She kisses me. I can’t help but smile. Right now, I’m the rock star and it takes all of my efforts not to burst. I’m steady and sure and confident. Resting on one elbow, I trace patterns across Ali’s body with my fingertips and watch her slowly settle down.

  “You’re killing me.” Her long fingers grip the sheet. Her body is slick from our intense coupling and I smile with pride. Yep, I still have it in me. I feel her relax and watch her eventually drift off to sleep, reaching out to me, keeping me close.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I’m somewhere between sleep and reality when I feel Ali’s warm hands slowly running up and down my body. I stretch out and press back into them, wanting more. “Ah, so you’re awake.” Her raspy voice ignites my body. She captures my earlobe in her mouth and bites it. I gasp. Her mouth moves down my neck and sucks the back of it, and every part of me stands at attention. She begins massaging my breast, pinching my nipple, then soothing it with her palm. I’m moaning and I don’t care that I’m being loud. I want more. I bring my hand up to hers and squeeze harder, trying to ease the ache she’s created. She chuckles at my impatience and turns me over so that I’m facing her. Her lips are on mine, her warm, wet tongue deep in my mouth. Her hands pull my arms above my head and her legs spread me apart. I almost come from the roughness and the quickness of it all.

  This is so new for me. I’m instantly wet and I lift my hips to meet hers. I want to touch her, but she still has my hands captured. I realize this is what she wants so I submit. She slowly lets my arms go. I grab hold of the slats in the headboard. I feel her smiling as she kisses me. Her kisses have slowed but are deeper now, and it takes all of my concentration to not wrap my hands in her hair and keep her this close to me. I raise my knees and moan again as her wetness rubs up against me. She runs her hand down my side and squeezes my hip before sliding between us. I’m so tense right now.

  “Please, Ali, please let me come.” I know I’m begging, but it has been a very long time and I’m desperate. Her fingers flutter along my pussy and I whimper and wait for her to slide inside me. She takes her time, playing with my slick opening. When she touches my clit I break the kiss and cry out. I can’t help it. I want her to know what she’s doing to me, how incredible I feel. The light from the full moon outside isn’t very bright, but I can still see her face and the pure desire etched across it. Her eyes are narrow and her lips are full and her long hair rests over one pale shoulder. She’s so beautiful, I want to cry. We’re both breathing hard, and she puts her face closer to mine, delivers a quick, soft kiss, and pulls back. We make eye contact again, and that’s when she quickly slides two fingers inside me and pushes in as deep as they’ll go. I arch my back, cry out, and come instantly.

  Holy shit. She doesn’t stop, though, and my body stays tight and on edge as she plunges in and out. She slows down only to allow me to catch my breath, then starts over. I’m not disappointed in the least. Her mouth moves down to my breasts. She bites my nipple, then soothes the throbbing ache with her tongue. It hurts, but it feels so damn good. I feel her marking my body, making it her own. She slides lower and I rock my hips back and forth, anxious to feel her warm mouth on me. I want her to skip the in-between journey, but she nips and sucks all the way down, and by the time I feel her breath on my thighs, I’m shaking. I’m embarrassed at my neediness, but not enough to stop her.

  She growls, licking the wetness from my thigh. I think I whine, but I’m not sure. I squeeze the headboard tighter, keeping my hands busy. I want to grab her head and keep her close to me, but that would just be rude. She smiles at me and dips her head down, spreading me open with her hands. When her mouth finds my clit, my hips try to buck, but she pushes me down. She licks me hard and fast until I almost come again. She slows down and rolls my clit into her mouth, sucking, bringing me close. My hips start moving when she slips two fingers inside me. God, I want this feeling to last. I fall into the climbing feeling right before I crest, right before my body tenses up, and cry out again. It’s just as beautiful the second time. I don’t even have words right now. I can’t even moan. I can barely breathe.

  “You’re delicious,” she whispers. Her fingers trace tiny patterns softly on my stomach. Her head is resting on my thigh and I could die right now I’m so happy and satisfied. A little self-conscious, too, but not enough to ruin this delicate moment. I bury my hand in her hair. It’s still damp from her shower. I run my fingers across her scalp and we both just lie there. I don’t want this moment to end. I moan because that’s about all I can muster. I feel Ali smile on my leg. This is the best night of my life. Ever.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I slip quietly out of bed, careful not to disturb Ali. It’s only seven thirty, still early enough for a jog. My body’s sore, but it’s a good kind of pain, one that reminds me I’m alive and deserve to be happy. Emily reminds me that happiness is a force that can make me do anything, and I believe her. I glance at Ali, still fast asleep, and smile. We fell asleep around four and I can’t believe I’m already up. Adrenaline, I’m sure.

  I take care to close the front door quietly so as not to wake Ali, then hit the asphalt hard. What is our future going to be like? I kind of want to know what Ali’s thinking and what she wants. Yes, I want to be exclusive, but what does that really mean? I lose days when I write, a definite sore spot between me and Crystal. She had a hard time accepting the time I need to write. I can’t write eight to five. I write better at night when Crystal needed me. Ego aside, I can understand why she left me. I picked my career first, but so did she. And my ego’s back, or maybe that’s my ten-year-old self again.

  On top of the whole career thing, I live in Chicago and Ali lives in Massachusetts. Our only time together would be a week or two here and there. Being with Ali last night reminded me of how important it is to have the ability to reach out and touch one another whenever we want. Our bodies were touching the entire night, even after sex. I woke up with Ali’s arm over my waist and her legs against mine. I smile remembering. I have a few fresh bruises, and I know Ali’s pale skin will show new ones, too. Not to mention the hickeys. I feel like a teenager. I have to be careful with what I wear so the marks on my neck and breasts aren’t visible. I know I encouraged her. My neck is very sensitive and it just feels so good.

  I look at my watch
. I want to cook breakfast for Ali and serve it to her in bed. Besides, the sun is already hot and the roads aren’t really designed with the jogger in mind. I’m constantly jumping out of the way to accommodate large pickup trucks towing boats. I reach the house and walk around the courtyard to cool down.

  “I was worried when I couldn’t find you,” Ali says. I stare up, shading my eyes from the sun, and find her looking out of the bedroom window. Her hair is dangling down and I think of Rapunzel. She smiles at me and my heart flutters.

  “I should have left a note, but I didn’t think you’d wake up.”

  “Oh, I’m not up,” she says. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You need to get back up here. I miss you.”

  I bolt up the stairs. I’m covered in sweat so I make a beeline for the bathroom and take a quick, cool shower. I wrap myself in a towel and head back to bed. Ali’s half asleep, but she reaches out for me. Without hesitation, I drop my towel and slide into the warm bed, snuggling against her.

  “I can’t believe you left this warm sanctuary.” She starts nuzzling my neck.

  “I can’t believe I did either.” Even though I’m not really tired, I don’t want to interrupt more of her sleep so I lie there quietly and enjoy being held. It’s such an exciting feeling, being naked with another person. I can’t help but respond sexually. “You’re so warm,” she says. She lazily runs her hands up and down my back. I love being touched. Her touch is so gentle and even though I know it’s a comfort touch, not a sexual one, I will my body to behave. I can’t help but moan as her hands explore me. I still them and wrap them around my waist, drawing her closer to me, telling her to get some sleep. She mumbles something, but I feel her relax. Her breathing becomes steady and I know she’s asleep again. This is the best feeling, this mixture of need, want, and tenderness. I feel hopeful again. Ali feels like home.