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  I’m surprised to see young and old people. Everyone is moving to the beat and I’m enthralled. This has a different feeling than the other concerts I’ve been to. I can feel Ali’s heated looks my way when we make eye contact. I know she’s singing to me and I couldn’t possibly be more turned on. I drag Emily from her Wild Nights and bring her to mine. I’m sure she’ll like Ali’s music and the atmosphere of a concert from the twenty-first century. Flashing lights, great musicians, and Ali’s low, raspy voice singing to the crowd. Not to mention the hundreds of people singing along with her.

  “This has been an amazing summer!” Ali yells to the crowd. “I’m on tour, I get to visit the country, and I get to see wonderful people like you.” She waits until the crowd quiets down a bit. “And I met someone.” The last statement brings the crowd to their feet, and they whistle and holler while Ali stands there grinning. I’m in the front row, grinning, too. She’s outed us. Well, technically, nobody knows she’s talking about me, but she’s made it clear she’s now in a relationship. Yeah, me!

  The crowd asks her who and several of the concert-goers yell, “me.” I feel like I’ll burst with excitement knowing we have a secret from everybody else.

  “She’s here tonight and I have a little surprise for her. Beth, this one’s for you.” She starts strumming her guitar. I’m sure everybody’s staring at me right now even though they really don’t know it’s me. My heart swells. I’m shaking again. Too many thoughts are racing in my head and in my heart at once. She starts singing and I forget where I am, I forget about the crowd, and I focus solely on her. Her voice is strong, but quiet. I haven’t heard this song before, but it’s sweet and I love it immediately. It’s the best gift anybody’s ever given me. I want to run onstage and collapse into Ali when she finishes singing. She bows and says thank you. She winks at me and starts numbering off for her band. They quickly move onto one of Ali’s more popular songs, and the crowd goes wild. The woman next to me leans over to yell in my ear.

  “She’s so great, isn’t she?” She’s very excited to be here. I am, too. Ali’s mesmerizing, and I can understand why people want to be near her.

  “Have a great night,” Ali yells to the crowd, waving at them. “Thank you for coming out and spending your evening with us!” She puts her guitar down and walks offstage, the rest of the band eventually trailing her after having their fun with the crowd. I feel somebody touch my elbow and look up to see a security guard trying to get my attention.

  “Can you come with me?” he asks. He motions for me to follow him. I nod and he escorts me around the stage and up the side steps. I know I’m the envy of every person there, and I’m tempted to turn around and smile. Backstage, I see Ali drinking water and nodding to something her bass player tells her. We make eye contact and she makes a beeline for me.

  “So what did you think?” she asks, almost shyly. I don’t say a single word. Instead, I lean forward and place a hard kiss on her lips. Ali tastes cold from the water and salty from her sweat. Our kiss softens and deepens and I feel Ali mold herself to me, pushing me into the wall behind us. I hear her moan. My knees wobble. Ali moaning is a delicious sound. She reluctantly pulls away. “I have to go back onstage,” she says. She gives me another hard kiss. “Wait right here.” I smile at her. She sings two more songs as I stand offstage watching her. I can’t remember a time when I was this happy. She struts off the stage and heads for me.

  “That was incredible, Ali. I love my song.” I give her a tight hug.

  “I’m glad you liked it.”

  Ali’s manager, Maureen, reminds Ali that she has a meet-and-greet with her fans. Ali tells Maureen that she’ll be there in ten minutes and takes me by the hand, leading me down a long hallway with a lot of rooms. She takes us to her dressing room. I’m not disappointed. It’s private, and that’s exactly what I want right now.

  “That blew me away. Your fans absolutely love you,” I say.

  “I’m happy I get to do something I love for a living.” We sit on the couch and I can feel her energy. She reaches out and pulls me close. We kiss very softly at first. Our passion ignites and I find myself on my back with Ali’s weight on top of me. I’m not sure if I pulled her or she pushed me, but either way, I love the feeling of her body completely flush against mine. Her curves press into mine, and I can feel her body heat through our clothes.

  “I’m sorry I’m so sweaty,” Ali says. She pulls away quickly, leaving me confused. She obviously doesn’t know about my obsession with her sweaty body. “We should try this after I get cleaned up.” I frown with disappointment and Ali quickly erases it with another kiss. My hands end up under her shirt, touching her hard stomach and sliding downward to her hips. Where did this confidence come from? A knock at the door interrupts us.

  “C’mon, kitten, we gotta go,” Brian, Ali’s drummer, yells. “We’re being summoned by the Mighty Mo.” Has it been ten minutes already? Ali stops kissing me and sighs.

  “All right,” she yells back. “Give me a minute.” She looks at me with regret. “I have to do this. Do you want to wait here for me and I can get you after the meet-and-greet? We can all go get something to eat.”

  “I’m kind of tired from driving all day. Can I just meet you at the hotel?” I hope that I sound nonchalant. I want time to clean up before Ali gets there. I’m not sure what’s in store for us tonight, but judging from the last ten minutes of our relationship, I’m pretty sure we’re going to have sex. I now understand why musicians have a ton of sex. The rushing adrenaline, the screaming fans. It’s such an exciting feeling. I get it now. Hell, I want it, too, and I’m just a fan.

  “I’ll be there as quickly as I can.” Ali says good-bye to me and is greeted by Brian as soon as she opens the door.

  “Remember, the sooner we do this, the sooner you can get back to her,” he says. She hits him in the shoulder and sends me an apologetic smile before the door closes. I release a sigh of longing. Waiting is nice, but I’m done being nice. I want the feel of Ali’s skin against mine, want to hear her moan with pleasure at my touch. I want to lose myself in her. I snap out of my daydream and head back to my car. It’s been a great night and it’s only going to get better.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The hotel suite has separate bedrooms with a sitting area nestled in between. I pick the undisturbed room, thankful that I have an option. I’m not sure if I’m ready to go all out and throw myself at Ali. Well, I’m ready. I just don’t want to embarrass myself. It’s been so long, I’m sure I’m going to fumble around like an idiot.

  I drop my suitcase on the bed and check out the view. It’s beautiful here. Kansas City is lit up like a Christmas tree even though it’s July. It’s after midnight and I’m surprised by how tired I am. I was tense on the drive up and nervous and excited during the concert. Now that I’m here and I’m starting to relax a bit, I wonder what Ali will be expecting tonight. I wanted to jump her bones after the concert, but now that I’ve mellowed, I’m worried. I’m afraid of breaking down in front of Ali. Three years is a long time to go without touching another person. Now, I’m struggling to get back to that place. Part of me is afraid that it will happen again—the loss, the struggle to get up each day—but being with Ali has been so wonderful and I want that closeness. Something blossoms inside me whenever I think of her. I know it’s time to let go of the past and embrace my future. I know it’s time to move on.

  I dig through my bag to find my pajamas and toiletries. I need a shower. I feel sticky and want to wash off the entire day. My shower lasts about twenty-five minutes. Thankfully, I had enough sense to visit a spa before the concert. I have cute toes, cute nails, and I’m smooth everywhere thanks to Nina, a woman I hope to never meet again because I don’t think I’ll be able to look her in the eye after the grooming she did to my lower half. I put on a pink tank top and pink-and-white boy shorts. What I’m wearing isn’t super sexy, but it’s cute, and that’s my goal. I don’t want to be obvious. It’s late, and I’m not sure wh
at time Ali will be done with whatever musicians do after concerts.

  *

  The room is bright and I jerk awake, confused. For a second, I forget where I am. My memory catches up to me and I look at the clock. It’s seven thirty. I jump out of bed wondering what happened last night. I remember showering and crawling into bed, but I have no recollection of any conversation or interaction with Ali other than at the concert. I head toward the bathroom instead of the sitting area in search of Ali. I brush my teeth and fix my hair. I splash cold water on my face and take a few more seconds to survey myself. My shorts are rather short, but at least my ass is safely tucked inside. I throw on a T-shirt and open the door.

  The sitting area is quiet and unoccupied. Ali is probably still sleeping. I can’t resist. I tiptoe to the other bedroom. The door is slightly ajar and that’s just a sign for me to peek in. Ali is curled up on her side hugging a pillow tightly. Waves of her long, brown hair fan out beside her. She looks so peaceful and young, and I have an overwhelming desire to curl up behind her and pull her close. Instead, I quietly step out and head back to my room. I need to be quiet. I grab my laptop and crawl back into my bed, thinking I can write until Ali wakes up. My senses are on full alert so falling back to sleep isn’t an option. I’m very much aware of how close Ali is to me, and I’m too excited to relax. After twenty minutes of accomplishing absolutely nothing, I decide to head to the gym to burn off my energy. I change clothes and quietly leave the room.

  The gym is quiet and exactly what I need. I work out for an hour and a half, hoping that’s enough time for Ali to sleep in. It’s almost ten and I’m getting hungry. I slide the key into the lock, and, when I open the door, I see Ali sitting on the couch drinking coffee. Her eyes are bright and welcoming. She gives me such a genuine smile that I actually ache.

  “Good morning. I figured you were working out,” Ali says. “I ordered room service for us. I hope that’s okay.”

  “That’s perfect because I’m starving. Do I have time for a quick shower?”

  “Sure, take your time.”

  I give Ali a quick I’ll-be-right-back wave and, with lightning speed, take a shower and dress. I’ll worry about my hair and makeup later. When I emerge, I head straight for her.

  “I’m sorry I fell asleep last night,” I say. She smiles and kisses my cheek softly. I hold my breath, surprised by the gentleness.

  “It’s all right. You were tired. And I remember someone telling me that if I ever find you sleeping, I’m to retreat quietly. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”

  “Please. That’d be great.” Room service had showed up while I was in the shower and delivered a breakfast of croissants, jellies, fruits, and oatmeal. On cue, my stomach grumbles and Ali laughs.

  “Let’s get you fed. I called for a noon checkout. That’ll give us time to eat and get packed,” she says.

  “Thanks again for inviting me. I’m looking forward to hanging out at the lake and going swimming. Just relaxing with you.”

  “I remember the last time we went swimming,” Ali says, her eyebrow lifting ever so slightly. I knock over the butter knife and it clatters against the plate. I look at Ali and feel the electricity between us again.

  “I remember, too.” I look down at my plate trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal when it was life-changing. A simple kiss jarred me back to reality, back to life. I’m thankful Ali took a chance on me and that she’s patient and still interested. I know I have to work through a lot, but I’m here and willing to try. Ali definitely has my full, undivided attention this weekend, and our time together will make or break us.

  “I think about you all the time,” she says. My heart races. “And I think it’s endearing that you’re so nervous around me.” She leans forward and kisses me. She’s entirely too gentle with me. I just want to pull her close and crush her against me. I deepen the kiss, cupping her face in my hands, running my thumbs along her jaw. I love kissing her. I love her strength and feeling her excitement. She pulls away from me and I’m confused. “Well, maybe you aren’t that nervous around me.” She glances at her watch. “As much as I want to stay here and continue kissing you, I don’t want to be interrupted, and we only have an hour before checkout. I think you’re going to surprise me this weekend.” She brushes a piece of hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear. It’s such a simple gesture, but intimate, and I’m shaking inside. She needs more than an hour with me to do whatever it is she’s going to do, and I’m ecstatic. Why did I fall asleep early last night? Why am I constantly wasting time with Ali?

  Ali’s phone rings and she leaves my side to answer it. It’s her manager. They talk for a while and I busy myself with cleaning up breakfast and packing. She returns to the sitting room with her bags and her guitar. I smile.

  “What?” she asks.

  “It’s just cool that you’re a musician,” I say. “And a good one.” Ali smiles. I grab one of her bags since I only have one, and we leave the room. “I’ll get the car if you want to check out.” We argued earlier about me paying for half the room, but she wouldn’t have any of it. She agrees to meet me out front and I head for the garage.

  *

  The drive to the Lake of the Ozarks is easy and uneventful. During the drive, Ali holds my hand several times. It feels so natural. We wind our way down to her aunt and uncle’s cabin and I’m trying not to be overly excited, but it’s hard. Ali makes me feel so special because her attention is always on me. I’m sure that’s mostly due to the newness of us, but I still love it.

  We pull up in the driveway and my mouth drops open. The cabin is really a mansion with massively large windows and three stories. I look at Ali, my mouth still agape.

  “This isn’t a cabin. This is a castle built out of logs!” I say.

  Ali laughs. “The logs aren’t real. I believe my uncle built it that way so he’d feel better about calling it a cabin instead of a second home,” she says. “He’s always so worried about what other people think. Well, what the rest of the family thinks. He’s an investor and has done very well for himself.”

  “Yeah. I think so.” We unpack the car and Ali unlocks the door. I’m not disappointed with the inside either. The vaulted ceilings and stone fireplaces, plural, are huge, but still manage to give the room a cozy feeling. I fall in love with the “cabin” immediately. It’s private and secluded, and I’m excited to spend the next few days up here with Ali. She slips my hand into hers and gives me a tour, saving the upstairs for last. She leads me into a bedroom with a private bathroom. It’s decorated in warm cream colors and dark cherry wood furniture. Very classic look.

  “This is your room.” Ali gently places my bag on the bed. Before I can question her, Ali points to a door. “I’m right across the hall.” She smiles at me. I’m relieved she isn’t being presumptuous. I’m looking forward to getting close to her this weekend, but I’m glad she’s leaving the decision up to me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not because I’m absolutely horrible at making the first move.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Let’s get you into some dry clothes,” Ali says. She steers the boat back onto the dock. It’s ninety degrees out even though the sun has already set, but I’m trying hard not to shiver. Falling into a lake going twenty miles an hour is a mood killer. One second, we’re laughing and drinking wine, enjoying a night out on the lake, and the next I’m choking on nasty water filled with dirt, algae, and other slimy things. You can’t come back gracefully from that.

  “I really, really need a shower,” I say. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. Before my impromptu swim, I looked and smelled good. My hair was loose and flowing, my clothes and makeup perfect. I was determined to have sex tonight, but now it looks as if I’ll have to wait. Again.

  We’ve been dancing around the whole sex thing for the last day and a half, and I’m done waiting. We both know it’s there between us. I’m afraid to make the first move, but I know Ali’s giving me space. That just means she isn’t going to make the first m
ove either. Stalemate. I want to have a tantrum of epic proportions, but then I remember that I’m an adult and good things come to those who wait. Or some crap like that. We dock and Ali helps me out of the boat.

  “I’m really sorry I turned the boat so quickly.” Her apology is so sincere it makes me feel guilty for bitching. I wave her off as if this happens to me all the time. I really shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve tripped, stumbled, and now fallen into a lake around her. I should just start wearing a helmet and elbow pads. We walk up to the house and Ali stops me in the kitchen.

  “Oh, my God. You’re bleeding.” She points down to my knee. Yep, that doesn’t surprise me either. I’m sure I did that scratching and clawing my way back into the boat. Add knee pads to that list of protective gear.

  “I’m fine. Really.” I know I sound ridiculous. I’m bleeding and I’m trying to blow it off like this happens to me all the time.

  “Stay here and I’ll be right back,” she says.

  Ali quickly heads to the bathroom to gather supplies, leaving me in the kitchen trying to adjust my dress. The weight of the lake water has pulled it down, showing more cleavage than it’s designed to. My nipples are hard and very noticeable. I’m not wearing a bra or panties because I was hoping for a serious make-out session, and now I’m regretting that decision.

  “Here, jump up on the counter and I’ll take a look at your knee.” She pats the counter behind me. I hop up and dry off with the towel she hands me. I smile because we’re finally eye level with each other. She looks at my knee and begins cleaning it with hydrogen peroxide. She blows on my knee as she washes the cut, minimizing the sting. She’s very focused on her task and is completely unaware that I’m staring. She’s gorgeous.